Variations on a Theme
Satisfaction has flavors. The other week I unexpectedly had to fix elements of the Circa website [link to: circa250.com] impacted by a software upgrade. Making things I care about better is a deep, fundamental motivation. Technology repairs are generally less ambiguous than problems; configure everything right and it works. If it doesn't, the reason tends to be very logical, once it's discovered. Knowing there's a rational cause and effect only further compels me to figure it out. Compared to issues with people involved, tech solutions are easy and the reward fairly sweet. Finishing a document for a client, as I did last week, is richer but can also be slightly bitter, tinged so because of an underlying uncertainty. However well I might prepare a deliverable, its reception is never certain. I've been surprised on many occasions. Even if they say, "we like it," I always find myself waiting for the frequent "but…". Physical exhaustion can taint accomplishment too. By the time I finished my 18+ mile hike the other week I was more ready to be done than to bask in any satisfaction. For a few moments every week, right after I send another one of these installments, I try to appreciate the effort spent on this self-inflicted undertaking. Neither sweet nor bitter, it's more like having finished an adequate peanut butter and jelly sandwich when you've been mildly hungry. I know that while I'm currently satiated, I'll be hungry again in a matter of time and must consider what to conjure next. Considered individually, such subtleties probably don't matter, the same as a maple tree in the fall whose leaves burst into a myriad of variant colors before tumbling to the ground.
